The Catalyst

Which just happens to be the name of the song. Which saves me from having to think of a blog title. Which is excellent, since this morning's Spin class beat me to pieces and I'm sitting limply at the laptop, nursing this latte. A great thing, when you leave so much on the bike that you just want to sit for a bit when you're done.

Speaking of how great it is to bring all you've got, and leave it all out there and then some...I'm ready. I'm ready to run again. I've been fiddling around outside a couple of mornings a week, and suddenly that's not enough. It's not giving me the opportunity to see what I'm made of, to find my limits again and give them the finger. Summer's just around the corner, and this feels like another summer of early mornings bonding with my iPod and feeling my feet hit the pavement.

There aren't words for how delighted I am by this. If I needed confirmation that it's okay to call myself a runner (because sometimes the 13.1 isn't enough), the confirmation has arrived. I feel like a little kid ready to go play. Last summer, I was trudging through workouts, into the unknown, running for fun but terrified of failure. Not now. This summer, the fear's not there. There IS no failure in running. There's only the failure that comes from denying myself the experience. Where's the fun in that?

I just finished Kristin Armstrong's fantastic book, Mile Markers. Moms who run, you need to run right over to Amazon, or to your bookstore, or to your Kindle or whatever you use to read, and get this book. She writes so beautifully about the intersections of running and motherhood, of running and friendship, of running and gratitude. One thing that stuck out for me comes near the end of the book, as she details how she changes negative thoughts into positive action by reframing them. "I HAVE to" becomes "I GET to". As in, not "I HAVE to run five miles this morning in the heat", but "I GET to run five miles this morning in the heat." I GET to do things. I GET to take care of this little person who loves me with his whole heart, even though he's just peepeed on the floor and is whining because his mouth hurts. I GET to straighten up this house, because I'm blessed to live in it and because I'm one whose mental state takes cues from her external environment. I GET to run, because I can and so many people can't. It's all about the attitude.

Enjoy my new favorite running song, while you're at it.
Happy weekend, everybody.....with love.