Sunday, September 19, 2010

Defying Gravity

A better title of this post may be "I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends", and that was the way I sat down to write it, but then when I realized I'd played this song 4 times in a row on yesterday's run, it only made sense to share it with you.

Welcome to Downerville, population Me. All week long. I've been emotionally and physically burned out, it's been a long 6 months of training. Trying to pretend I wasn't miserable, ignoring it, not talking about it...not working. I didn't want to spend a bunch of time bitching and moaning on my parenting board, mostly because I have so many friends there who are agonizing over the kind of circumstances life just deals you sometimes, not the ones in which you choose to entangle yourself. Small, almost, and petty to complain about not wanting to run when the post above you is about a baby with cancer or someone who desperately wants to have another baby and can't seem to make that happen. I needed to be petty, though. Sitting in front of the laptop crying doesn't feel good. I didn't expect anyone besides the runners in the group to comment, but you can expect me to be carrying all their words with me on every training run until these two races are over. Between them and my sweet friend who has already been there, done that with training coming to sit with me and talk me through all my anxiety about my training and race day particulars, I went to bed Friday night with a sense of calm instead of a sense of dread. Can you guess how good that felt?

Two miles at a time. Just keep running. One more song. If that song's not working the magic, hit that forward button and make a note to get that song off the playlist. One more song became five, and two miles at a time became eight miles already behind me and you know what, I'm not stopping at 10 because after that there is just one more and I'm ready to get home. Eleven miles done. Feeling strong and settled and determined. Defying gravity.

I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try, I'll never know...

More later about things other than running. It's been a great weekend. I'm on borrowed time, though, with a napping Snoogle and chippy toenails. Happy NFL Sunday!

1 comment:

  1. I love that song... I am glad to hear you got over your mental/physical block!